It is undebatable. Not many couples know how to or what topic to talk about on a date. So, date nights can sometimes feel like a chore for long term couples. You literally feel, for a second, there’s nothing more to be said or unravelled. It sometimes feels like you know this person, what’s more to know?
As usual, your questions are centered on work and family. Afterwards, the renowned awkward and deafening silence that causes your stomach to churn in displeasure comes in. Then you start counting the stars or waiting for the night to be over. Another drab date in the bag. Disappointed? Yes you are!
Scratch that routine. Every date is an opportunity for you to get to know your lover intimately. It should be positively intoxicating, exciting, and interesting with all shades of spontaneity.
Remember, no fretting, nagging, sweating or stuttering. Just allow words and moments flow in endlessly between you and your beloved.
What makes a date lovely and enjoyable is not the garb you adorn or the sweetness of the meal that hits your palette. It is majorly dependent on the quality of conversations you have.
You want to speak more on a date and not get lost for words? Here are a few conversation starters.
1. Give Sincere Compliments
As music is food to the soul so is complimenting a rhythm to the ear that makes the heart shiver. A sincere compliment has the potency to change their day, make them grin from ear to ear and most importantly feel appreciated by you. This is one valid thing to talk about on a date.
Undoubtedly, giving a bouquet of words is not something you should do in transit. Dwell on it like you really want to know the thought process before he/she decides on what to wear, the hairdo, cufflinks or even the choice of restaurant.
While doing this, you’ll intuitively observe you’re both having a seamless conversation with so much laughter and love.
Compliment is very useful in building emotional intimacy between you and yours. From admiring their outfit, time and efforts they put in making your relationship work, you could talk about the ambience of the place you are in.
2. Ask about Their Day
So you’ve laid the table by appreciating them. Now ask about their day. Oftentimes we all get lost in the midst of the bustle and hustle, so we unconsciously forget to ask simple but necessary questions.
Ask about their day, not referring to the usual thing we all do. For instance, how did your day go? My day was fine, thank you. Hmm okay. Then you switch to another topic. So offkey.
Pay attention to their hand gestures and the look on their face. Right there, you’ll get more details to press on. If the other person had a bad day, take note and make them smile more by being the witty clown that brims with knowledge.
3. Play Question Game
Yeah, this is another exciting subject to talk about on on date. Sometimes as a couple you think you’ve spoken about everything, shared every story and other crazy details. But that isn’t the case. Asking erotic, romantic, silly and thought-provoking questions is a fun way to bond and keep the conversation rolling.
Of course, it’s an indirect way of evaluating each other’s wants, to know the other person’s mental space and vision in a fun and intimate setting.
Don’t forget, some questions will make you laugh, others not so much. However, it’ll improve your communication going forward.
You don’t want to come on too strong when on a date. So, take off like the plane, slow with silly questions, then romantic.
Here are some types of questions you should ask:
• Would you rather be completely hairless or as hairy as a gorilla? Someone is in stitches.
• Would you want power to time travel or power to see the future?
• In a movie of your life, who would play each of the characters?
• If you were a superhero, who would be your sidekick and what would your powers be?
• What’s the one thing I’ve done to sweep you off your feet and you’d want me to do more often?
• What’s your favourite part of my body?
• What part of your body do you want me to explore more?
• What’s your sexual fantasy about us?
• What makes you feel the most loved?
• What do you like more about yourself?
• What career choice would you like to try?
• Do you feel like you’ve lost your individuality because of us?
Honestly thinking, by the time you’re engaged asking each other question as these, the ambiance will vary at every point. And guess what, your presence will be oblivious, too.
No scrambling for words nor surfing through the web. These questions will help you build trust with each other.
When words fail you, sometimes the past is a great place to leverage on when on a date. A pleasant stroll down memory lane is a great conversation starter. Such as “Do you remember what we ate on our first date?” Or Or do you recall where we went for our first date?” You could take a trip down there as a surprise.
It’s essential you go with the flow. Don’t try to think too much, else you’ll lose ground. You will learn new things or gain new perspectives. Either way, it’s a win-win situation, and a way to keep the ball rolling.
5. Share Embarrassing Moments
On a serious note, sharing embarrassing moments could be so fun and cool. Loosen up to the crack. If you can’t share awkward moments with your partner, who else will you tell them to? Here is a scenario; the conversation with your lover is coming freely, no hassle.
When you get to a point where you are lost for words, what you should do is share embarrassing experiences. At this stage, the conversation takes a new twist, which leads to other topics.
Either it is hilarious or horrifying, share it. It’s little things like these that build a bond so strong and connections too great to severe.
6. Discuss Current Events
What’s getting all the traction in the world right now? Be it economical, political or social issues, let there be no holds barred when on a date. Just pick a sector you partner is most likely interested in and watch them share their intellectual and technical prowess. Aside from sharing ideas, you’d learn a thing or two.
Really, at some point you’ll both probably debate why you think equity and equality mean different things. The conversation could span into entertainment when you’re both talking about characters and movie plots.
Take it a step further. Talk about yourselves. In the events of your lives, everything else is a variable but you two are a constant. So talking about you should be fun. Where you are now, where you would like to be and what was once.
Ultimately, if nothing interests your partner, the life you both live definitely will. A lot of times, we struggle about what to say and what not. But really, there is always something to say if only one could be in tune with oneself and be attentive to others.
The truth is, you won’t get to do everything written here at once. Just ake it one day at a time; absolutely no need to rush.
And starting a conversation oftentimes may feel like a daunting task though conversation starters are not as hard as it seems. Just read the room. And allow yourself to sail on the ocean of love.