I can still recall the massaging lines in a foreign film, “Parents Trap” I enjoyed watching as a child. Love was made for me and you. Two in love can make it. If only you will take the other’s heart and not serve them “breakfast”.
Yes, I chorused those lyrics simply for the sake of music. I sang them into adult age and realised its underlying meaning.
Just like art, love is timeless. It’s a word that echoes and reverberates beyond miles. It’s a concept so complex yet so simple. To love and be loved right is the climax of all human cravings.
The deep affection that connects you to another being makes life meaningful and worth living.
Love can’t be defined; it transcends all forms of intelligence. The strong desire to do right by the one you love is unexplainable. How else do you explain the butterflies in your belly at the thought of the one you love? Flipping and slipping into the warmth of your blanket during phone calls with your partner?
What about the glints in your eyes enacted by their smiles? Do you still remember the hollowness you feel in their absence even the presence of an angel can’t fill? That is love. It is magical and indeed the most beautiful gift to mankind.
To truly love someone is to care for them as you would yourself. That’s the golden rule. It is wanting the best and giving the best with no holding back.
It’s to not store up grievances. Love is patient and kind, it never seeks its own advantage. For love comes to perfection when we can face everyday fearlessly in truth and courage via one’s action.
With the word love so commonly used, one will assume, as humans, we understand and know full well just how to express it. However, it isn’t. Assumptions are indeed costly.
And that explains the current reality of love. Many relationships are at the verge of breaking. Some are broken already all because of not knowing how to love and love right.
Here are some ideas on doing love right.
1. VERBAL INTIMACY
When it comes to doing love right, it’s not about the eloquence of speech. Rather it is capturing how you feel by using words as an artist would a pencil to carve out the crevices and vertices of your intentions.
Words are powerful like an epitaph engraved in your heart. Take them to a height where only you both can reach, flying without wings.
When you acknowledge their effort and all they put in to make your relationship work, it’s a different kind of high only them and you can feel.
Appreciate their person. It’s beautiful to hear.
Verbal intimacy is not limited to beautiful things. Share your deepest fears alongside your joys. Your experiences are good and ugly one’s alike. It helps build trust. It signifies openness.
Have you observed that normally in your day to day life, you tend to gravitate towards people who make you feel good and are full of positive vibes? People with whom you can share anything? You need not be Claude Monet. Just be you and watch the world stop just for you.
2. EMOTIONAL INDEPENDENCE
Compared to what is obtainable out there, love doesn’t rely on or make your partner the source of your happiness. A healthy love depends on itself, not on others. To love right is to not be attached.
It’s a terrible place to be in. With attachment comes suffering. The world on its own is full of overwhelming tragedies and evil. Most of which you can’t control, however, what you can control is paying attention to your environment and finding balance and control within you.
Indeed, balance is a critical component of becoming a whole being. You are responsible for your own happiness; don’t place that burden on another human being. That’s too much of a load to carry and a chore to attend to.
When you depend on others, it brews jealousy. This will hinder you as a person and every other aspect of your life. People run from other people they see as a burden. Don’t set yourself up for heartbreaks by being dependent on others.
3. MAKE SACRIFICES
As faith without action is dead, so is love without sacrifice. I must admit. As beautiful as love is, it can’t be expressed without sacrifice.
To love right is to do things without expecting it in return. Even the holy book acknowledged God’s love for mankind through sacrifice. Sometimes you have to move the sun and the sky to show love.
I think the most iconic thing you’ll ever do is to do for someone what they can’t do to you. A love that can’t walk through fire or push boundaries is anything but love.
Sacrifice doesn’t mean your sanity or your life. Do all you can to become better as a person and definitely will reflect in your relationship.
So you know, there’s never a one-size-fits-all with love. No manual. Just treat your partner the same way you would wish anyone to treat you. Do this and see how your relationship will sail.