Most people don’t pay deliberate attention to cultivating emotional intelligence. However, it has been proven to be a key factor not only for success at work but also fulfillment in life. There are many ways to improve your emotional intelligence. One of them is by reading good books on the subject.
We have therefore extracted 25 quotes from Abiola ‘CHAMP’ Salami’s bestselling book, The Magic of Emotional Intelligence, to inspire and motivate you to take action on developing your emotional intelligence skills.
Emotional Intelligence Quotes by Abiola ‘CHAMP’ Salami
- Humans are largely emotional creatures who mostly act, react and make decisions based on how they feel. However, Champions know that their emotions should not control them; rather they should rule over their emotions.
- I don’t believe in permanent weaknesses. Don’t say things like, “This is the way I am” to excuse bad behavior. You have the ability to regulate your impulses. You may say you have “chronic” anger issues but let me ask you this: if you find out that the person who upset you is a member of the Nigerian Army, will you proceed to slap him? If your answer is “No”, it means you have the capacity to regulate your emotions and choose your behavior.
- Nobody was born with the inherent ability to manage and understand their emotions or the emotions of others. Becoming emotionally intelligent is a decision everyone makes in the course of their life’s journey.
- Negative emotions are not always bad; sometimes they serve to keep us in touch with our environment. If we wield them properly, they can even serve as propellers to achieving our desired goals. Likewise, positive emotions don’t always leave us on a perpetual high; so we need to develop the capacity to manage them too.
- The most powerful step to improving your emotional intelligence is becoming awakened to your true state. Our feelings may seem more obvious to us than they really are, but with careful thought and skill, we will realize that there is some depth to them.
- While we should be careful about the things we share with others, it is also important to recognize that not everyone is out to harm us. There are some good people in the world. So, you need to find a balance, and share more with trusted people.
- If managed properly, anger can be a good way to express negative feelings, or motivate you to find solutions to problems. For example, some of the men and women who fought for the liberation of Africans and abolition of slave trade started out by simply being angry at the situation.
- When anger is not managed properly, it develops into rage and becomes very destructive. In managing your anger, it is important to take note of your traffic lights or triggers―things that usually get you angry.
- Biology tells us that whenever there is a stimulus, there will always be a response. However, studies in psychology have shown that between stimulus and response, there is a window. That window is the opportunity to choose our response.
- Hatred is by far one of the most toxic negative emotions and is directed mostly at people we know, such as exes, family members, or even oneself. It is purely destructive and there are no good sides to it at all.
- If we have to treat other people based on how we have been treated, the world will be a terrible place.
- Pride is a temptation that everyone must overcome. It may not even originate from you. It could be as a result of the praises of well-meaning people, that is, external influence. How you respond to these influences and your success is what determines how susceptible you are to pride.
- No man is an island and we all require help in one way or another. Asking for help doesn’t make you less competent; on the contrary, it could help you achieve so much more.
- You’re only human and this means you are prone to making mistakes sometimes. Acknowledge them and apologize when you need to.
- Being shy is different from being introverted. Introverts are largely people who need less activity and stimulation to recharge their emotional batteries and function at their peak. Shy people oftentimes are very willing to connect with others, but simply don’t know how to.
- Going through the grief of losing my dad taught me many things, the most important of which is that each person’s grieving process is unique to them. Don’t ever get under the pressure of trying to behave in certain ways because of how others want you to react.
- Sadness is a normal part of life and it is usually connected with certain experiences of pain or even past joy. People tend to treat sadness as if it is something wrong. It is not. It is, in fact, abnormal to not feel sad when something difficult, disappointing or hurtful happens to us. It is not the feeling that matters; it is what we do about the feeling.
- Sadness does not last forever except we choose to dwell on it continuously. One terrible situation can cause one to be sad but if one keeps obsessing about it, it might protract the feeling of sadness, leading to depression.
- Depression is like sadness and grief on steroids. It is not just a mere feeling. It is a serious illness and requires as much attention as cancer or any other chronic illness.
- Being afraid is not ultimately a bad thing. It is just a basic emotion that helps alert us to danger. It activates the fight-or-flight response that prompts us to act immediately in the face of an imminent threat. It only becomes bad when we allow it to paralyze us or hinder us from taking positive and progressive steps.
- It is fine to be concerned about something but unproductive to worry about it because anxiety only cripples you and prevents you from taking any actual steps to avert the impending “doom”.
- It can be hard to be genuinely happy for someone else’s good fortune especially when you want it too, but you can learn how to deal with feelings of envy by focusing on the good things that happened to you. That way, you can spend less time feeling angry and upset, and more time feeling grateful and happy.
- Nobody is perfect. Nobody has it all. There will always be something better than what you have. People who appear to have it all have their own special brand of weaknesses, inadequacies and challenges just the way you do.
- Ingrates hardly have any reason to be cheerful. Why? They are complainers. They complain about anything and everything. When things are going wrong, remind yourself to be thankful for the things that are right. Make it a habit to cultivate thanksgiving. You will be surprised to know how a “thank you” can bring a lot of cheer to your life and others around you.
- Humility is not hypocrisy. Some people have a tendency to downplay their achievements when in fact, they are proud of them. They say things like “Luck was just on my side” or “I don’t even know how it happened” rather than acknowledge that they put in a lot of work or received help from certain individuals. That is hypocrisy and not humility.
If we want to be successful in our relationships, we ought to cultivate love; not only as an emotion but also as a choice. This kind of love should be without expectations. [Tweet that]
Which of these quotes do you find to be the most inspiring and how do you intend to take corresponding action? Share with us in the comments.
Remember to get your copy of The Magic of Emotional Intelligence if you haven’t done so already.